What do you call a blonde at a golf course? nay I my child, and eke, oh! 4. At the golf corpse! I had a terrible round today, I only hit two good balls, and that was when I stepped on a rake. 21 FUNNIEST Golf Jokes 2023 (with Puts and Puns) - Jokes Quotes Factory Sunday Service. Because subtraction speaks louder than words. The means are as important as the ends. Gerald Ford, If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. P. G. Wodehouse, The difference between a good golf shot and a bad one is the same as the difference between a beautiful and a plain woman a matter of millimeters. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh. So what are you waiting for? James Murray, Enjoyment of golf, regardless of the level you play at, is primarily based on how closely you play to your level of ability. "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.". "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." Im going to wash my balls, you want yours washed, too?, My arms are tired, I had so many strokes.. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. You can talk about strategy all you want, but what really matters is resiliency. Hale Irwin, 50. Keep your head down. "While playing golf today I hit two good balls. Golf is a lot like life. The three tried & true methods of improving your game are: practice, study the pros, and cheat your ass off. Fear comes in two packages fear of failure, and sometimes, fear of success. Tom Kite, 21. I give the ball some sweet talk. Go back in time and start playing at a younger age. And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. Ben Hogan, Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. I just havent played yet. Muhammed Ali, I mean, who else could say something like this? P.G. Relate what your buddy said after a five-putt, the joke your grandfather made about the ballwasher or your golf junkie pal's philosophy about the parallel between golf and life. I'm gonna pound you like I do these range balls. Americans infatuated with golf established country and golf clubs, built ornate clubhouses, laid out inland park courses, experimented with new types of equipment, and even modified time-honored rules. Quotes tagged as "golf" Showing 1-30 of 130. Of course, says the old man, when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall.. How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? I never learned anything from a match that I won. Bobby Jones, 62. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. So, I'm on the first tee with him. What do you call a lion playing golf? PG Wodehouse. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! My drives aren't always long and straight.. but I can show you what is! If a bird sh#ts on your golf cart, do not ever take her golfing again. Everyday I'm Schauffele. Read more: Hilarious poop jokes that kids will love! Robert Fuller Murray, Be a mind beater-not a ball beater. No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned ways.
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