Do you like, like me? The conversation can go like this either way and be appropriate and you not be on the spot either way. One evening he bragged that he never outright asked anyone to do anything for him. I dont have any good answers because that particular form of domestic abuse excessively leaning on the partner for a deluge of small things to the point it is messing up the partners life is pandemic in American culture right now, nearly always but not always done by men to women. Especially not in NYC, where housing is so tight, and especially when she doesnt have a job.). Notice how it starts off with a light compliment. On the other hand, that was a while ago. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" - Mom Advice Line Some variation of were busy or we have plans works better. This applies in other areas of life too. This is how I feel too. Whenever people accept this answer, I know I am dealing with human beings who understand their goodness as a constant learning process. Im white and an immigrant in the country where I live. Then we give a quick heads up to each other in the event that the person asking (such as mother-in-laws) will then turn right around and call spouse. 1. 1. What are the usual scripts? They may want to squee about something exciting, or vent about something theyre dreading, but theyd feel rude unless they ask you first. LW was quite clear that the coercive uses of it are the problem that makes LW resentful, which is not at all an extreme response, but a healthy one. If you want! Have a very happy weekend! My white mom has a very unusual first name (I dont know of anyone with a name that is even similar, AND its spelled with a non-English character) and, 40 years after she moved to the US people still ask her where shes from. I agree with you based on what shes told me, it feels very othering, and she resents it. I love days where I have no obligations and I can go where the wind takes me. So far, everyone Ive said this to has gotten the message that I want an obligation free day. I wouldnt mind your first either, but thats because the few people whod ask me exactly that are close enough for me to answer however Id like. I feel like something mundane like chores will get some pushback, or wont be seen as a task that takes up the whole day(s) off (if I do laundry Saturday, I can still go out Sunday! By formal invitation, Im not necessarily meaning an engraved invitation, like for a wedding or other fairly formal event. Lets just say there were a few comments along the lines of look, if this Pampered Chef isnt your personal yaoi cup of tea, thats fine, but do you have to be so judgy about what your friends into?, Exactly! Because our societys patterns absolutely will not let anyone think it could be possible that what I, for example, would be doing with that time is letting my brain process the mathematics that will lead to an invention that most of us will never hear about, but it will make all of our lives better. Teaching my fish how to swim. Assholes. Some other commenters have pointed out that sometimes people use this question as an conversation opener or in order to seem polite while they actually want to tell about their own plans. How are you? If I catch myself, before they respond lll clarify what my actual invitation is.
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